She put a curse on me.

So, back in April when I found out I was pregnant, for the 5th time in 4 years, I had a mini panic attack. My second son was just 6 months old, and I had just returned to work in January. One of the many things that Jason said to console me was, "maybe this one is a girl." I took those 6 words and ran with them. In reality it took me a good month to come to terms with it all. I realized I was going to have to quit work and become a SAHM, stay at home mom, something I always wanted to do, but when I was faced with it, it scared the crap out of me.

During the next couple of months all I thought about was this "baby girl" I was going to have. I had dreams, I had the "feeling", I had it all. Until. Until it was the day before the ultrasound appointment and I said out loud, "they are going to tell me it's a boy." The next 24 hours was hell!! I could not WAIT to get in that room and find out.

Jason was with me in at the ultrasound and he of course found "it" right off the bat!! The technician had just started the scan and scanned near the genatalia of the baby and Jason busted out,"I just saw something." My response was , "No you didn't" yes he did. Baby #3 is a boy and was very proud of himself that day!! I nicknamed him Turtle, one can figure out why.



So, as I sat stunned in the chair, all I could think was, "this is it. we are done and I will not have a girl." We left the doctor appointment and I didn't say much, so Jason started probing. He wanted to know if I was upset. I tried to explain to him that just like he grew up ALWAYS wanting boys, or at least A boy, I always grew up wanting A girl. That was my plan, to have a boy, then a girl. But now, because of the ultrasound, my vision was gone. And due to hormones and feeling bad for thinking this way, I became emotional and cried for two days, especially when anyone called and foudn out we were having ANOTHER boy.
S
I LOVE my boys, ADORE them, and could not think what life would be without them, but I felt a lost for a baby that never existed and because I had this feeling, I felt awful for not being thankful for what God had given us. Another baby boy, another healthy baby. I was also, and still am, concerned, because I don't want Turtle to get shafted because he IS a boy and was born only 14 months after Jackson. I was people to celebrate him and love him.

We have decided on a name: Jacob Ross. Ross was my grandfather's name and he passed away last May, so I am glad I get to honor him with this baby. I still can't believe I am going to be a mother of 3 boys!! My life will not be filled with pink, lace or monogrammed bows like I dreamt of, but of dirt, baseball, football, and four wheelin'! My mother in law had three boys and she always had stories about how crazy they were growing up. She use to tell Jason "I hope you have 3 boys and they are just like you so you can know what I went through." Jason's response was always, " I hope I have 3 boys and they act like me too Mom." She tried to put the curse on my sister in law, but Liz had 2 girls and 1 boy, so she moved her focus to me!!! My mother always wanted boys, she had 2 girls, so here she goes!!!

Already with a 3 year old and an 11 month old my life is crazy. Jay thinks he is Spiderman/Ironman/Superman and is always hurting himself. Today he was Spiderman and wanted to climb on the wall, so he jumped from his bed and went head first INTO the wall....no climbing was done, just a knot forming on his head!!

Jackson is starting to cruise around furniture and not much impresses him. He knows how to work his momma, so girls need to be scared!!

I love these 2 little boys with all my being and I cannot wait to add Jacob to the mix!!